US President Obama is being skewered for his latest breach of protocol, this time involving the monarch of Britain. President Obama apparently was not schooled in the art of toasting, so he committed an egregious faux pas, by talking right through the playing of  God Save The Queen . The moment was described as “awkward.”

In defense of President Obama, that band should not have begun playing just as the president was taking a pregnant pause for effect, in honor of the glorious occasion. What was the president supposed to do? Was he supposed to rush through the toast?  Additionally, in his defense, his preparatory team should have made sure that Teleprompter Tom was located where the band could also see the instruction to pause, and therefore would not have jumped in there! I give the president points for eagerness in wanting to give Her Majesty a lengthy toast encompassing her accomplishments.

Maybe the toast was to sort of make up for the decidedly non-majestic gift of the IPod with his greatest speeches. And really in defense of that gift, Her Majesty has to understand that this president is the “Internet president.” Internet presidents do not have time to brush up on really ancient tenets of protocol and stuff.  I think that Her Majesty should have imperiously waved her hand and shut the band up and let that band know “You will play when I tell you to play!” I am sure that quick study that he is, President Obama would have learned how true royalty wields power.

I just thought of another contention for the defense. Her Majesty has to realize that President Obama is more accustomed to dealing with czars and czarinas, than dealing with majesties. Plus, he controls these czars and czarinas. He is not accustomed to playing second fiddle to anyone!
 
Nile Gardner , a writer whose work I have always admired, has come down rather forcefully on President Obama, with his list of top ten insults, that President Obama directed towards Britain. Again, I am going to defend President Obama. I think I see what I am labeling “delayed retribution syndrome,” in play here. Psychics and psychiatrists, don’t scramble to research that term. I made it up.  President Obama, after spending all of those formative years overseas, returned to his country of birth, if not of upbringing, and caught up with American history.

He read about how the brave Founding Fathers fought to break away from King George III. He probably vowed not to bow down to the current sovereign – although he does have a propensity to bow down to other potentates. He read about how the French leaders of the 18^th century were very helpful to the fledging American nation, and he decided to show his appreciation by taking away the title of strongest ally from present day England, and confer it on the French. Hence, insult #3 is understandable, isn’t it?

President Obama is on his own when it comes to insult #5, giving British nuclear secrets to Russia. I have no defense for that. Wait a minute. I have not been thinking out of the (nuclear) box. As usual, President Obama was very prescient. He realized that Russia is one of the countries to which America is in hock, so quid pro quo? You scratch my back with dollars, and I scratch your back with nuclear codes?  As the French often say “c’est la vie.”  

Oops – "Medvedev uncorks stunner"? It appears that President Medvedev reset that reset button on President Obama, even after the sharing of Britain’s nuclear secrets? No problem. I see an eventual advantage for President Obama. Unlike those lessons in “Teleprompting,” he did not have to pay for this lesson in true autocratic behavior!

“Throwing Churchill out of the Oval Office,” insult #7 has some logic behind it. Why should any newbie leader have to deal with the unfair, inevitable comparisons that would be made between that newbie and a great leader such as Sir Winston Churchill? I can see the scenario. President Obama screws up a foreign policy situation, someone visits the Oval Office, sees the bust of Sir Winston, and begins thinking “this one is no Sir Winston,” or “Sir Winston would never have messed up this situation like this.”   Pretty soon, President Obama  himself begins making those comparisons, and feels that he could never measure up to Sir Winston. The US suffers because of an emasculated president – not a pretty picture.

As far as insult #8, those DVDs to Gordon Brown, I’ll take them off of Mr. Brown’s hands. Those DVDs are more presents than most ordinary Americans have received from the president.  I would like to console Britain by pointing out that Britain should be glad that it is not Israel. Had Britain been Israel, DVDs, IPods and busts would be the least of its problems. I don’t want to tell tales out of school, but Britain needs to revise its strategy in handling relations with President Obama. He is not impressed with this “special relationship” thingy.

Begin spouting off about your dislike of President Obama. Be especially mean and vicious. (Check with the president of Iran on the specifics of that strategy). I know it sounds crazy, but next soiree, President Obama will be bowing to Her Majesty. He will not try to toast through a rendition of God Save The Queen. One last bit of advice, watch his trips to Ireland, now that he is claiming Irish ancestry, complete with a quasi Irish accent. I am just saying – not accusing.

Disclaimer: Mr. Jesse Lee, this piece is satire, harmless fun. I hold President Obama in the same esteem in which he holds some conservatives, some Jews, and some
Christians (those who “cling” to God and guns). They are his people. I am one of them.